One of the biggest fears I hear from many victims is “to date again”. It is the fear they may fall into the trap of another Narc. That is a very valid fear. It is hard, how can you tell? How will you know? Sadly, a Narc can seem like the perfect guy, it is not until much later into your investment you will detect it.
I have always told the group to watch for too much too fast is the best thing. In most cases after being with a Narc, the victim does move very slowly after their horrible experience. I first would always wait a bit to date. Get back your life, get back who you once were that was lost. Get back into the things you once loved.
Second, do not give them too much information. Act much like a lawyer with yes or no answers. Be kind, but keep it up to date, not much about your past nor your emotions. If they hear you were with a Narc, they will right away mirror you. They will do everything in their power not to act like a Narc and all the signs that come with it. So keep your emotions, past experiences, hates and wants to a low profile.
The best way to act is like you are not really interested in a serious relationship, but like meeting new people. Remember at this point they are a stranger, and how much would you really share with a stranger? Remember also, Narcs will use whatever deep thoughts or emotions against you later in the discard stage. Keeping that in mind, it will help you think first of what you really want to share early on. Do not give them material to work with. Narcs can also try to trick you, if you are not giving them the material they need to mirror you, they will start to give you deep personal information about themselves (true or not true). They do this in trying to get you to open up. So watch carefully if someone is pouring on too much too soon. If they want to buy you expensive things, take grand trips very early on in the relationship, hold back, turn it down, give it a break seeing them for a bit, be kind because you may actually have a nice person and not a Narc. A Narc will only work so hard, so long, they do not like a strong mate nor independent person too much, they just may walk away on their own.
You always want a buffer and space to step back and review, give yourself that space.
I would like to place a link on this page By Shahida Arabi, Bestselling Author . She is a very good reference to many issues of post Narcs. She wrote a blog on the “5 Signs”
Click or copy paste the link to follow the blog .