I have to say this is going to be one of the most short and sweet pages on this blog. For you, you are dying inside, thinking of them 24/7, you cannot continue life. You are hurt, sad, mad, and withdrawn. You are looking for them on the social media, wondering who they are with, what they are doing, looking at your phone for a text. Then you will drift into all the good times and seem to forget the bad times. Maybe even think, “well, maybe I was to blame for all of this like they make me think.” Why? Because deep inside your soul was in true love, deep inside your soul you are looking for the response that is normal, such as closure, a real ending, maybe a “I miss you” or a sorry. Sad thing this is not a normal relationship, understand that. This was never a love connection, only you had the love connection. So you will NOT get the normal break up, such as having issues, fighting about things, other people walking into the relationship. In normal relationships there are times where both are trying to talk and work it out yet it still does not work, and maybe a good long talk of “this is not working, we need to officially break this off”. You will not have any of those things. In normal a relationship both see it sort of coming, even in an affair you feel the problems. Normal relationships both people do get sad because they once had something but deep inside they know it was not a love connection and it has been discussed. With a N/psychopath, it is a cycle of manipulating, high and lows, projecting, lying, making you feel you are at fault for everything, discard, love bomb, then suck you back in over and over. There is really no formal ending, the ending is when YOU ALONE decide to end it. Again, just like the love being one sided, the ending of the love will be one sided also.
Their manipulation and acting is so good, many times if you have decided to end it, they will make you feel uncertain about your choice. It is normal to go back a few times to get the treatment over and over, plus it will be worse and more intense each time you do. It is okay, it happens because the more understanding, the more forgiving and kind you are, the more likely you will go back and forgive a few more times. Sometimes it takes a few times for us to really see it, but once we do, we will never return again, you finally created boundaries. So do you need to know what will happen if you go back? In a child sort of way, watch the video below, it will give you the answer of what your future will be if you continue to go back. The N/psychopath is Lucy, Charlie Brown is you.